Ape's Bio

The Basics

The skinnier of the moron twins, Ape - we have no reason why he is called this - boasts of breaking ankles on the basketball court and of playing a mean guitar. Ape is a strange creature. He likes to use big money words, but then misuses "there" and "their" in the same sentence. He has almost won several leagues, but has also endured his moments of sucktitude (see: last season, when his Matrix team total flirted with the teens).

Ape is generally known for being a mellow guy. One word of caution, however: when Ape runs out of his favorite herbal rememdy, he turns grouchy. Push his buttons and he's liable to murder a motherfucker. He also averages having sex once a year at the most, of which only Junky is jealous.